Guess What? Chicken Butt!!!
 
hey this is Freckles. i had put some jokes on here that might have been offensive to some. i didnt get any complaints or anything, but i just had a bad feeling. there are plenty of other clean jokes out there. go find some. this week is redneck jokes.



Do you know how to tell if you're staying in a redneck hotel?

When you call the front desk saying I've got a leak in the sink and the front desk person says go ahead.

You just might be a redneck if on one side of your belt you have camo for huntin.. and on the other side brown for church.

How'd the redneck git lost in space?

He rolled down the window to stick his head out!

you might be a redneck if:
You've ever been arrested for a DUI on a riding lawn mower.
You keep your teeth and your goldfish in the same glass.
You give your girlfriend long-thorned roses hoping she won't ask for them again.
You borrow your wedding flowers from Wal-Mart.

you go to a redneck church if:
1. People ask, when Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

2. The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," and then five guys and two women stand up.

3. Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

4. A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

6. Boone's Farm "Tickle Pink" is the favorite wine for communion.

7. In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

8. Baptism is referred to as "branding".

9. There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.

10. Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.

11. High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

12. People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

13. The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, ya hear?" (banjo accompaniment optional)

now have fun, put your own jokes on, and watch out for nargles
~Freckles
shortstack
6/8/2010 01:24:42 pm

yay finaly where is the racist jokes! :(

just wondering is there such thing as a black red neck???

Reply
shortstack
6/8/2010 01:47:17 pm

You might be a redneck if...

More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You think the stock market has a fence around it.

You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.

Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.

Your home has more miles on it than your car.

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shortstack
6/8/2010 01:48:47 pm

You might be a redneck if...

Your Christmas tree is still up in February.

You've ever been arrested for loitering.

You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.

There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.

You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.

You own a homemade fur coat.

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

You've totaled every car you've ever owned.

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shortstack
6/8/2010 01:49:24 pm

You might be a redneck if...

There are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.

Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.

There is a wasp nest in your living room.

The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.

You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

There has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.

You burn your front yard rather than mow it.

You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

Fewer than half of your cars run.

You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

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shortstack
6/8/2010 01:51:02 pm

tehe jokes online im defenately gunna win... oops did i say that out loud :P

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Freckles
6/8/2010 02:10:28 pm

you might be a redneck if you have 5 cars that dont run and a house than does.

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shortstack
6/10/2010 10:07:43 am

ill copy more jokes now

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shortstack
6/10/2010 10:09:00 am

You might be a redneck if 04
You might be a redneck if...

The taillight covers of your car are made of tape.

Your car has never had a full tank of gas.

Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash.

Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.

You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.

Your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

Your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.

Your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

Reply
shortstack
6/10/2010 10:09:46 am

You might be a redneck if...

You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin' dog.

You're an expert on worm beds.

The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!"

Your family tree does not fork.

The flood history of the area can be seen on your living room walls.

You haul more than U-Haul.

Your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!"

There is a gun rack on your bicycle.

Your wedding was held in the delivery room.

Reply
shortstack
6/10/2010 10:10:21 am

You might be a redneck if...

Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.

Your wife's hairdo attracts bees.

Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."

The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

Your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

You pick your teeth from a catalog.

You've ever financed a tattoo.

You refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the "day my ship came in."

Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.

Your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

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0_o
6/12/2010 04:11:10 am

serously, where are the racist jokes?! they're funnier than redneck jokes or put some yo mamma jokes or something!

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shortstack
6/12/2010 05:58:32 am

way funnier and i dont have to copy them off the internet o wait did i say that out loud

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Freckles
6/12/2010 06:45:39 am

i aint gunna put racist jokes cuz this is a family website. starting monday is chuck noris jokes! dont be jealous

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shortstack
6/12/2010 07:03:01 am

LAME

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shortstack
6/12/2010 07:03:37 am

imgoing to omw

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shortstack
6/13/2010 01:53:04 am

we didnt vote and i cant vote b/c i am the only one to put jokes on...

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shortstack
6/13/2010 01:55:39 am

i vote the wife can climb a tree faster than a cat and when youre porch collapses you kill more than three dogs HAHA!!!

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nat :P
6/13/2010 04:51:46 am

hey, sayings about chuck norris arent jokes... theyre facts!

(and we already know most of them)

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shortstack
6/13/2010 09:58:38 am

that is true..

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sunshine
6/16/2010 01:52:24 pm

i shine no lie! sorry i just made that up on the spot! what now! oh yeah! o and by the way i thought id say that i just got that AD-ding thing..........i didnt get it b4 haha! im so sad today was the last day of school! yet sort of happy cuz summer is my favorite season! :O and my nicknames sunshine! what a shocker!

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shortstack
6/17/2010 02:34:59 am

what a d ding thing... i dont get it? probably b/c im blonde...

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sunshineeee
6/17/2010 09:17:28 am

get it like ad-ding...(adding)

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shortstack
6/17/2010 09:19:04 am

still dont get it...

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shortstack
6/17/2010 10:22:40 am

i think i won b/c im da only one who commented...

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nat :P
6/17/2010 02:04:36 pm

GO LAKERS!

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spongy :)
6/21/2010 02:09:09 am

Yes....these comments are offensive but don't worry, they're funny :)just don't pick on central americans.. k? :)bye freckles!

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shortstack
6/21/2010 01:51:33 pm

whos spongy it sounds like sponge bob square pants which i happened to watch at da river fo da 1st time...

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spongy :)
6/22/2010 01:19:59 am

spongy is spongy. that's all to say :)

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shortstack
6/23/2010 09:01:38 am

will i know him?

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nat :P
6/23/2010 09:36:02 am

wait whoever spongy is...
u spelled ur name 2 differrent ways
on da other blog there wuz an "e" in it

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spongy :)
6/24/2010 06:16:31 am

Oops! Sorry! And Shortstack...I'm really not a "him".

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spongy :)
6/24/2010 06:17:12 am

you should know HER though

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shortstack
6/25/2010 09:33:20 am

wus SHE in my class or which class wus she in?

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spongy :)
6/28/2010 04:21:23 am

not your class..but the one next to yours..

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shortstack
6/28/2010 05:00:50 am

fiscer or zuidama?? (i buttered da spelling on fiscer but i do dat to all da words i spell...)

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shortstack
6/28/2010 05:19:15 am

i didnt mean to put butter i ment 2 put butchered

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spongy :)
6/28/2010 09:34:32 am

zuidama

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shortstack
6/29/2010 05:44:10 am

does ur name start with a A or a S? those are da only girls that i wud think wud go on this web site

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shortstack
6/29/2010 06:09:28 am

dude this joke contest ended like 2 weeks ago... i think i won!!!

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spongy :)
6/29/2010 08:38:45 am

S :)

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shortstack
6/29/2010 08:44:18 am

i know who u r now

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spongy :)
6/29/2010 09:21:21 am

yay!

Reply
shortstack
6/29/2010 09:38:07 am

u havent commented on dacomments page scrool ur mouse over da home and click on da comments here

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shortstack
6/29/2010 10:04:17 am

oops comments welcome!

Reply
spongy :)
6/29/2010 10:20:35 am

OK! thank you!

Reply
shortstack
6/30/2010 01:49:37 am

ur welcome!

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borring...
7/7/2010 03:10:38 am

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YOU GUYS SUCK
3/18/2014 06:29:31 am

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