Do you know how to tell if you're staying in a redneck hotel?
When you call the front desk saying I've got a leak in the sink and the front desk person says go ahead.
You just might be a redneck if on one side of your belt you have camo for huntin.. and on the other side brown for church.
How'd the redneck git lost in space?
He rolled down the window to stick his head out!
you might be a redneck if:
You've ever been arrested for a DUI on a riding lawn mower.
You keep your teeth and your goldfish in the same glass.
You give your girlfriend long-thorned roses hoping she won't ask for them again.
You borrow your wedding flowers from Wal-Mart.
you go to a redneck church if:
1. People ask, when Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
2. The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," and then five guys and two women stand up.
3. Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
4. A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
6. Boone's Farm "Tickle Pink" is the favorite wine for communion.
7. In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
8. Baptism is referred to as "branding".
9. There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.
10. Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
11. High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
12. People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
13. The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, ya hear?" (banjo accompaniment optional)
now have fun, put your own jokes on, and watch out for nargles
~Freckles