Guess What? Chicken Butt!!!

Sorry!

06/08/2010

48 Comments

 
hey this is Freckles. i had put some jokes on here that might have been offensive to some. i didnt get any complaints or anything, but i just had a bad feeling. there are plenty of other clean jokes out there. go find some. this week is redneck jokes.



Do you know how to tell if you're staying in a redneck hotel?

When you call the front desk saying I've got a leak in the sink and the front desk person says go ahead.

You just might be a redneck if on one side of your belt you have camo for huntin.. and on the other side brown for church.

How'd the redneck git lost in space?

He rolled down the window to stick his head out!

you might be a redneck if:
You've ever been arrested for a DUI on a riding lawn mower.
You keep your teeth and your goldfish in the same glass.
You give your girlfriend long-thorned roses hoping she won't ask for them again.
You borrow your wedding flowers from Wal-Mart.

you go to a redneck church if:
1. People ask, when Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

2. The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," and then five guys and two women stand up.

3. Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

4. A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

6. Boone's Farm "Tickle Pink" is the favorite wine for communion.

7. In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

8. Baptism is referred to as "branding".

9. There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.

10. Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.

11. High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

12. People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

13. The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, ya hear?" (banjo accompaniment optional)

now have fun, put your own jokes on, and watch out for nargles
~Freckles
 
 
this is the jokes page. they dont have to be all jokes. puns, stories and chuck norris jokes all welcome. dont bag on me though, i have to come up with them you know.
1.A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

here are a bunch of them in q & a form:
Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?
A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route.
Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

ahhh humor, a great thing to have!

There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was so mad that she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, "It's blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"

that one is funny. think about it. ponder the moment.

A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head.

"I need to take that walkman off your head," says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde.

"You can't! I'll die!" retorts the blonde.

"I can't cut your hair with the walkman on your ears!" says the beauty specialist getting annoyed.

"I said you can't take it off, or I'll die!"

The beauty specialist, outraged and flustered, grabs the walkman and throws it off the head of the blonde. Within seconds, the blonde dies. When the specialist picks up the walkman to listen, she hears it repeating "breath in, breath out, breath in".

hahaha! that souns like something my good friend sunshine would do, or irish blond. she would do it to. blondes are fun! this week the jokes are about blondes. take the time and send in your best jokes. hey, we can have a contest. then people can vote on the best ones. ok here it is: send in your best blonde jokes until thurs day. then friday and saturday, vote! you cant vote for your own! have fun!
~Freckles
 
 
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